Day 367 - Scare at 39 weeks and 6 days

Dear Simba,

Today was another scare, and I’m left feeling so anxious and unsure. During my scan at the NHS, they picked up ectopic heartbeats from your sister. The sonographer looked worried and quickly took me to triage. I was placed on a CTG monitor, and thankfully, like the other times, the results came back normal.

We waited for what felt like forever to hear from the doctor. Eventually, she told us I could go home. They had spoken with the fetal medicine team, and for now, they just want to ensure I don’t go past 41 weeks.

But I can’t shake this fear. Will this resolve on its own? What happens if it doesn’t? Why did the sonographer look so panicked? It’s hard not to compare this experience to the private care I’ve had—am I being followed more closely by more experienced doctors there?

I feel lost, and I don’t know how to calm myself. My thoughts keep spiraling. Will your sister be okay? Will she be healthy? Will she have a normal life? I can’t bear the uncertainty, and I’m so scared, Simba.

At the same time, there are no signs of contractions or labor starting yet, so I’m trying to hold on to that.

Please stay with me, Simba. I need your strength.

Love always,

Mummy